Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
