they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
