I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize