I didn't shave. On purpose
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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