one might say we're banned from that church
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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