ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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