Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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