Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
