i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
