dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I need water and some morals
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
