You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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