so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
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No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
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First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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