did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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