I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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