Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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