Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
