super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
should my penis look like a turkey
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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