Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize