he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
