you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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