she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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