So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
