so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i will never coherently bang her
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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