I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
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Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
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I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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