so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
handjob tips. give me some.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
