I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can't trust your balls anymore.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
