party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
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You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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