I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
