I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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