I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
