im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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