just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
farters have to be the big spoon...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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