He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
