Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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