There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
