thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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