So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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