I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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