And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
