hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
