Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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