i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
