Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
