i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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