Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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