we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
