need another drink. this is the easiest way
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
