5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
