Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
