You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
