Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Everyone says I win the strip club
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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