I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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