i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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