Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
