you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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