a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
