I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
