ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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