Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
