dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
